Monday, 16 July 2012

Fingers crossed, that is all we can do

Jamie ready to come in for egg transfe
Sorry I haven't posted for a while. To be honest, maybe it is because I am scared to put anything in 'writing'. 
 Here is the IVF update................ 
It is all done and dusted, they have put two embryos back into me. The reason they have put two back in was because one was not very good quality and the other was OK which means our chances of this working this time are not GREAT! 
 I will test NEXT Monday.  I know when I have read on IVF discussion boards everyone talks about how awful the 2 week wait is.  Today is this first time it has actually hit me.  I am not doing very well today with the 2 week wait.
You KNOW these embryos have been put back into you and you are just waiting....hoping...wishing....and asking yourself SO many questions...after egg transfer have they even continued to grow? 
THEN will they be strong enough to implant and survive? I am coming up to what should be 'implantation' stage but WHO knows they might not have even made it past day 3.  I always hear about 'implantation cramping' and I HAVE NONE OF THAT.
 I have tried SO hard to be super positive but when the call came through on Wednesday to say they wanted to transfer two back in right away I knew it was because the quality was NOT great. The Consultant and all of the Nursers and Embryologists were AMAZING and the whole procedure went like clockwork.
Nonetheless I don't feel like it has worked this time, I am trying to remain positive and hopeful BUT am also preparing myself for the REALISTIC outcome. 
I just wish someone could promise me and my hubby that it WILL work at some point. All of the injections and the hormones that I have put my body through WILL be worth it (I think I have coped really well thus far BUT today is really hard.  I feel like I am PMSing x 1000.
So that is the update for IVF
I have already had to start thinking of PLAN B which will hopefully begin in October to allow enough time for my body to get rid of everything and flush it out of my system.
Sorry for a DOWNER of a post BUT I always said I would be totally open and honest

Keeping them crossed

1 comment:

  1. Jessica,
    Thank you for your honest post...

    Please believe that everything happens for a reason (yeah, yeah totally cliche) but it's real....if this is not the time, then it was because of patient in this process as your body (and higher powers?) knows best. Be the beautiful, strong, amazing person you are....your day will come. I just know it! Keep your body less stressed than it already is - go for a walk, go shopping, go out for lunch - your body recognizes stress and right now you need LESS stress!!!! So, go get lost in the woods, in a good book, in a new shopping patient and blessings will come my love.


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